Being Lazy

I don't know about you but whenever I stop to rest I am hit really hard with one feeling and one feeling only; guilt. When I take a break, have an off day or even stop to watch a film a little voice in my head starts talking. Telling me that 'I'm being lazy' 'I'm wasting my time' and comparing me to other people 'She never has a day off' 'Look at him, why can't you push yourself like that' and so on. This obviously isn't very helpful as rest is completely necessary and sometimes we just need to take it easy. I was intrigued to find out if others felt the same so I put a poll up on my Instagram yesterday and yes the overwhelming majority of people also felt guilty when taking a break. But why is this? Why do we feel so much guilt when we stop and take some much needed down time? In my opinion it all starts with our self worth and how we value ourselves...

Why do we feel guilty when we take a break?

As I wrote above the root of the problem is the way in which we value ourselves. If you label yourself as 'a mum' 'a doctor' and 'a friend' then when you stop everything and just start to exist without doing you can start to struggle. If you pride yourself on the award you won, the job you do or how many press ups you can do before collapsing when you do nothing everything you valued yourself with disappears. We need to learn to love and accept ourselves when we're lying on the sofa in pyjamas at 10am as well as when we're giving an important business speech. Learning to accept every single part if you is hard and it's massive journey but (in my personal opinion) it's the greatest adventure of all time. After all, we are human beings not human doings. Give yourself permission to just be without doing today.

Here are a few journal prompts that will help you to discover how you value yourself:

• When you first meet someone and tell them a bit about yourself, what do you mention? Is it you job, your family, your friends? Is it the award on the shelf in your hallway, is it the league your sport's team won? Or is it something deeper than that- something about your personality, something on a soul level? This is a great way to learn what you pride yourself on.

• When do you find it hardest to accept yourself, when do you find it easiest?

• What thoughts go through your mind when you try to take a break?

Doing the inner work and releasing the guilt....

Getting rid of the guilt around resting obviously involves working on yourself and beginning to value yourself for more than what you do, accepting who you are! So how to do that? There are so many ways to work on yourself.

I highly recommend...

• Committing to a regular yoga practice as that is a great way to move freely and come back into the roots of who you are, moving unguided to some nice tunes can feel really good or head over to my YouTube channel.

• Free movement, this is moving your body with no rules or regulations just dancing with your breath, with some music and listening to your soul. There are no expectations, just have fun! This one means so much to me as I have such a love of free movement and find it so helpful. I laugh, I cry and it feels so good! For more on free movement read this article and watch this video. Oh and adore Cat Meffan, my free movement inspiration.

• Meditation. Meditation has completely changed my life, sitting with myself day after day, witnessing all off my thoughts and emotions and allowing them to be is juts transformational. I think mediation is the best way to tackle the issue we have with just existing without doing, as the focus of mediation is to be without doing. Guided mediations are great ways to get started, Headspace, Feel Better and free meditations on YouTube are a great place to start. This mediation by Where's Mollie is my all time fave, and it's free too! I also highly recommend reading A Monk's Guide to Happiness by Gelong Thubten as there is so much practical advice on how to get started.

• Breathwork. For many mediation is a massive challenge and sitting down for 10 minutes with no external distractions just feels impossible at the moment. If this sounds like you I highly recommend trying breathwork or Pranayama. This involves working with different breathing techniques to evoke a sense of calm in the body and travel deeper into the soul. I practice breathwork a few times a week and adore it. There are some great classes on the Feel Better app or follow Breathe with James on Instagram as he goes live very Tuesday and Thursday at 6pm with free guided breathwork. Bliss!

• Journaling. I say it time and time again but if you want to work on yourself grab a pen and paper and start writing. It is as simple as that but getting to know yourself is so beneficial. It's a lovely way to end the day or after a mediation or yoga flow, it feels so so good! Read more about journaling here. There are some lovely journal prompts over on the Soul Sanctuary Instagram, in Sophie Dear's free eBook and on Where's Mollie's website, so make sure to check the out.

How to be lazy

This may sound stupid but how can you actually be lazy, how can you actually stop and rest when there are so so many things demanding your attention? This is something I really struggle with as I have a never ending to do list and feel as if time resting is time wasted. But I promise you it's not, when you're resting your body and mind are doing so many important things, so really you aren't doing nothing. Yes, you aren't moving physically but your body and mind are doing so much under the surface.

My top tips for having a rest and being lazy

• Learn to say no. I know it can feel hard, you feel so guilty and beat yourself up but the only way you're going to be able to stop is if you start to do less. Next time somebody asks you to do something take a moment before responding to ask your self 'Do I need to do this, is it necessary, could someone else do this?' 'Do I want to do this, will it add to my life or take away.' and 'Can I do this, do I have the time, is it a sensible thing to say yes to or not?' Once you've got your answer get back to the person, know your boundaries- it's very important.

• Boundaries. These are such important things, knowing when to stop, knowing what to put up with and when something is unacceptable. Boundaries are key to a happy life. I recommend that you take some time to set your boundaries and make sure you stick to them! A few of mine include: Stop working and relax after 8pm, take some me time in the morning before I start doing something for someone else, limit technology and do things that are just for me on Sunday and no social media between 6pm and 9am. They can revolutionise how you look after yourself. If you don't have them, you need them and there is no time like the present.

• Switch off your phone. Spending time scrolling is not resting and we lose so much precious time where we could be resting looking through Instagram. Take a digital detox and you'll be surprised by how much time you suddenly have to rest. Most people spend over an hour a day on their phones, use that time to rest, be lazy and sleep!

• Set a certain time of the month as your rest time. I've recently read 'Period Power' by Maisie Hill and first of all everyone who menstruates needs to read this book, it is incredible, and so inclusive to people who have a period but don't identify as women, which I really respect! And secondly, she recommends for you to take rests in the Autumn and Winter of your cycle, (pre-period and period) so if you have a menstrual cycle read the book, and dedicate Autumn and Winter to resting. If you don't have a cycle then pick a time of month when you find yourself feeling tired and rest then.

That's all for now folks, see you next week!

Until then you can join me on YouTube for the 8 day Strength and Stretch yoga challenge and loads more yoga fun and on Instagram too!

Megan x

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